I Want to be Good

Lately I've had this fire ignited within me. I don't know what set it off (still trying to figure that out), but I have a burning desire to be good.
   With all the chaos, wars and just down right wicked things that are going on, I want nothing more than to be an influence for good in this world. I want to be an instrument in the Lord's hands and I want to live my life in a way that I always can be. I want to be in tune always and see everyone around me as our Savior does. I so strongly want to serve! Because I know in doing so I will develop a great love for those I serve. The more I serve, the more I will see people as Christ does.
   I want to immerse myself in the scriptures and share with the world the wonders of the Gospel. It is beautiful! There are so many blessings promised us if we just do what is asked. And NO ONE is exempt from those blessings. How great is our God?! He, being our Creator, has given us everything. And yet will continually give us more if we stay true and faithful.
   I want to develop my talents. Specifically my musical talents. I want to perfect my cello and violin playing so I can invite the spirit wherever I play. I want to compose and arrange my very own music and eventually create an album. I want to share the Gospel through music and invite the spirit into homes everywhere. And I want to live in such a way that I can compose and arrange with the influence of the spirit. I know my musical talents are a gift and I want to share my gifts to help share the Gospel and build the kingdom.
   I want to be a good wife and mother. I want to be a strong companion for my spouse and support him in being the Patriarch of our home. I want to raise my children in truth and righteousness. I want them to stand strong in this wicked world. I want to live in such a way that they will have no doubt what they stand for and why. I want our home to be a sanctuary. A place where our kids can get away from the things of the world and feel safe. I want them to know their infinite worth and that they are deeply loved by their Heavenly Father and Savior.
   I want to be who I was foreordained to be. I want to be Heavenly Father's best. I want to DO good. I want to BE good.

Composing

So... I started my own arrangement of a hymn!! It's very exciting. And it MAKES SENSE. It's so crazy how knowing music theory is the key to writing music... I guess that's not crazy. Quite the opposite actually. ;) Haha. I love theory. I love knowing not only how to read music, but how music works! Why it does what it does. Knowing the rules of music is key in following/breaking the rules. So that it's done properly. WOO! I am just way too excited. Just one step closer to fulfilling my music dreams.

Music has actually helped me in more ways then I ever imagined. Every time I walk away from listening to uplifting music or playing the piano/violin/cello, I have so much motivation and determination to be better. To be better at reading scriptures daily or being more humble. Usually when I think of those things and how I need to improve, I just get discouraged. But when uplifting music is a part of my day, I have such a positive outlook on life! And I know it's because that uplifting music brings the spirit into my home and heart.

The main thing music has done for me is made me feel so much gratitude for every single thing I have. I am so blessed! I have an amazing husband who loves and treasures me. My family is just awesome. ;) They are my support and I love them so much. I am eternally grateful for all they did and do for me. My in-laws rock this world. I'm so grateful to have the relationships with them that I do. :) My piano mentor. He is.... I don't even know the word. Every time I walk away from a lesson with him the words "mind=blown" come to mind. Haha he is incredible! His talent is out of this world. Literally. He is so in-tune with the spirit and focused on the Savior that every lesson I have with him is always exactly what I need. And I walk away feeling a little more spiritually fed.. through music. :)

There are so many more things I am grateful for. The list could go on forever. I am so blessed to have the family I have, the relationships and friendships that I have, the talents that I have and the love that I have. :D

PS In case you were wondering, the hymn I chose to arrange is 'I Know That My Redeemer Lives'. I bare my testimony best through music. This song testifies of Christ. It's the best way I know how to convey this truth; that He lives.

More Music, More Gratitude

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude!! That is all I am feeling today. My piano teacher is just... amazing. That's the only word I can think of! A-maz-ing. True story. And today, when I was driving home from my piano lesson, the Spirit overcame me and I was so full of gratitude for the time my teacher is taking to teach me. He is limited in his time to only be able to teach a few students. I feel so blessed to be one of those students! He is such a devoted teacher and I know he is the key to helping me accomplish my goals. I LOVE IT! :D Hopefully I will be able to blow everyone's brains with my awesome music talents ;) Teh heh... Not really. But I am getting better! And more confident. I know I have a gift, and I know I need to share it, and use it to help share the Gospel. What better way to share the Gospel then through the Spirit? (Is there any other way? O.o) I'm excited to work towards composing music through the Spirit and strengthening my talents. :)

Trials and Gratitude

Trials come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. And they can hurt.. All I know is I have amazing people in my life who love and care for me enough to help me in those hard times.

#1 is my Heavenly Father and my Savior. They are always there, knowing what pain i'm in. I know I can turn to them for love, comfort and guidance, always.

 #2 is my Mother. :) Who doesn't love their mother? She is so amazing and I couldn't ask for a better Mom. I want to be like her when I grow up. She cares and I know it. THANK YOU, MOM!

#3 is my Mother. Hehe My second mom. My mother-in-law, Deb. She always knows exactly what to say to feed my squishy, blue heart, especially when it's aching. She is always there for me. THANK YOU, DEB!

#4 is my friend from work, Hollie. She is just awesome. She always knows how to make me laugh and I know I can confide in her. THANK YOU, HOLLIE!

HELP.

*Sigh* I think I need to vent a little bit. Well... not necessarily vent, but just spill some things out. I am VERY overwhelmed at this moment in my life. I have an AMAZING mentor who is helping me get myself out there with Music Therapy. He is SO successful and smart! Yes, I do feel like a little child sitting at his feet. But half the things he talks about goes completely over my head. I have to ask him to clarify many things just because I am no where near his level. Maybe i'm just feeling...stupid. I don't know really.

I'm starting to wonder where I really want to go in life. I want to impact peoples lives and make a difference with music, but I want to be a good mother and wife as well. And to do both really well is going to kill me. So where do I really want to go with my music? Maybe Music Therapy isn't quite the right path for me? I feel so confused and scattered right now. I think a Temple trip is in order. That always helps things. I'm so thankful for my Heavenly Father to help me and direct me in these times. I know when i'm unsure or confused about decisions in my life, I can turn to him for guidance and direction. It's crazy to think that there are people out there who don't believe in a higher power at all. My question for them is HOW??? How do they survive this life without prayer? Without involving Christ and our Heavenly Father? I could not do it. How blessed we are to have that guidance in our life!

Well this post took a complete turn. ;) Hopefully you enjoy the ride. It's a bit bumpy. ;) Haha...